How do you define success? What are the metrics? What does it look like? As a thought experiment, close your eyes and imagine what a successful person looks like, how they dress, how they stand. What does their hair look like? What music do they listen do? Where do they work and what is their job?

After thinking with your eyes closed for a moment, follow the link below.

Did you imagine someone who looks like these images?

Note what was searched for the images, “successful person.” This tends to be our default idea of success, and why not? A person in business clothes implies purpose, reliability, education, responsibility, timeliness, maturity, authority, etc. The idea of “suiting up” is so closely tied to our idea of success that even Facebook creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg (a person very few would argue isn’t successful) is shown in the link above wearing a suit rather than his famous daily attire of jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie.

As a mentor looking to inspire ideas for 21^st Century Success and Believing in a Positive Future, this image can subconsciously become both the cornerstone of our mentoring philosophy, and a subconscious “end goal” for our mentee. We strive to mold them into our vision of success. But remember, it is our vision, not necessarily theirs or their parents’. See the two men below. At first glance, does one strike you as more successful than the other? If you were told the right one was at a job interview, while the other is the owner of a line of profitable repair shops, would this challenge that initial thought?

It can be easy to see instilling the values of “dress well”, “look sharp,” or “dress for success” as understandable, conventional advice any person should follow. But what happens when we forget our idea of success is our idea, not theirs? We must be vigilant that we support their hopes, dreams, and aspirations without instilling our own beliefs or values onto them. That includes career aspirations, and the clothing we believe gets us there.

Will all our mentees’ career goals be realistic? Certainly not. We’ve all had missions in life before we understood the world a little better. But what’s important (as far as iC.A.R.E. stands) is not to judge another’s choices of external expression, or career expectations by our own standards for the future. Resiliency, believing in a positive future, preparation for 21st century success are all principles that can be aligned with and support any career path your mentee may aspire to. At the end of the day, it’s not the suit that makes the man or woman, but the attitude, determination, and positive reinforcement from the people they have in their lives.

What ways have you tried to encourage your mentee to see the better side of themselves? Any tips you recommend for helping them realize their full potential? Let us know in the comments below!