It can be a struggle to help your mentee learn patience. Why wait until later when you can have it now? iC.A.R.E.’s Systems Coordinator Michelle Fagan recalls one such mentoring session, where she realized if she didn’t show her mentee the value of patience, a temper tantrum would ensue. Here’s her experience:
The Thursday before Thanksgiving I went to see my mentee for our weekly session. I asked her the week prior “Would you like me to bring another game or a craft?” She excitedly said, “Bring a craft. I like working on those!” So, a craft it was!
When I arrived at the school waiting for my young mentee to pick up her lunch, I opened the box and arranged all the parts for us to put the project together. When she entered the room, she was ready to start. I explained to her that she must take a bite of food first and then work on her craft. This continued back and forth until the end of our session.
When we worked on our project I could tell it wasn’t going to be finished in time before she returned to class, and I had a suspicion that she wasn’t going to be happy about it. When I noticed it was nearing the time for her leave, I told her that I would bring it back in two weeks to work on it.
Well, that’s when it happened: the arms folded, the bottom lip poked out and she slid down into her seat. I asked, “What’s wrong?” and she said, “I don’t want to wait that long. Can we finish it now?” I explained to her that she should be patient and that it was OK if we didn’t get it finished today. I told her that it would give her something to anticipate and look forward to.
I said that some crafts could take anywhere from a few hours to several months to complete and this is what makes them fun. I told her to take pride in something she created to look nice and to give to someone else or keep for herself.
“Besides,” I said, “you’ll look forward to seeing me again so we can work on this together.” I explained that is what anticipation is – looking forward to the future. She seemed OK with that and I averted a possible temper-tantrum.
Have you had experiences teaching the virtues of patience and anticipation with your mentee? If so, how did you encourage them? Share your stories below!
When this happened with us, she just took it home with her to finish. She brought it back after 3 weeks and we celebrated. She has very busy days as well as baby sitting responsibilities. I really try to get activities that fit into our time together. When I know it will take more sessions, we plan out our time together and close down the activity with enough time to play a fast game. I want her to leave our session on a pleasant note.
(She also has the tendency to “pout.”)